Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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