he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm always down for nudity.
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