So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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