i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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