; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
