i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i believe in u and ur pee
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
