I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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