He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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