Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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