he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
