I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
