Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
