I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
