The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
