My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
