Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize