i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
