mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
