i would punch a child for taco bell
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
