Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
