Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
