Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
