my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize