Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
