and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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