i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
