Pregnant stripper...not hot.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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