i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
