I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
pop tarts are not kleenex
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
