i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
