I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize