I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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