Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I havenโt had a good sexing in a while
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
