HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
please come you make the beer taste better
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
