whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
