I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i barfeds in our rink
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
