OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize