In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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