My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
