why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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