my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
