she looked like the before picture.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
