I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
