White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
