Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
