This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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