I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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