This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
