we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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