I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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