We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
