it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
