she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
