Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
