I feel great
I just peed on a car
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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