I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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