Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
