You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
