Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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