Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
being pregnant is like rehab
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
