I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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