Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
