can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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