Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize