omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize