Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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