i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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